This is Home

 "I've got my memories / Always inside of me / But I can't go back / Back to how it was /...Got my heart set on what happens next / I got me eyes wide / It's not over yet / We're miracles / And we're not alone"

This is Home, by Switchfoot 

So for those of you that read my last post know that I was out of the country for a couple weeks. I got back around last Wednesday at around three in the morning. If you haven't read it, I went to Kazakhstan with a youth delegation. It has shown me so a lot. It was the most amazing and life changing thing that I have ever done. The first week we did a lot of rehab things.We went to an orphanage and painted a front gate, painted a house, and painted railings.We shoveled a lot of crud into a dump truck. After that, we traveled to this little village in Asa and we built a playground for the children, nothing too fancy but something for the kids to play around with.

 Picture from the orphanage

Pictures from the playground                                                                                     

                         

                                                                                          

That first week, I didn't really feel like I was out of the country until the middle of it, when we had to work with some volunteers to help build the playground that spoke really little to no English. It was kind of frustrating at first, but then soon realized that even though it would have been nice to speak the same language, we still worked well together. We even got close to perfecting charades.

The second week I feel had the most impact on me. We all traveled to Vanofka to the House of Hope orphanage to play with the kids (when I say kids keep in mind that they range from 5-18 so they aren't all little), love on them, and be with them. At first I was worried because I didn't think that I would connect with the kids. That I would get frustrated like I did when we went to Asa because I couldn't understand. I didn't think that they were going to like me because...well I don't really know why but I was just afraid of that. I was afraid that I wouldn't be myself around them because they wouldn't fully understand. And let me tell you...that was the last thing that happened. We communicated AND connected A LOT better than I ever thought that we could have. Being around those kids helped me be more of myself than I ever thought that I would. We all connected within the first day and grew as we met each day.

 Our first day there the guys and myself kicked the soccer ball around, played a few games and the losers got butts up.ha I have never loved playing soccer so much as much as I did, playing with the kids. I felt kind of special because I was the only girl who played with them, so I hope I held my end well.

I am getting acquainted with our dinner here. He is staring me down. Talgot (on the right) decided to be in the picture. He was the best translator anyone could ask for. He is hilarious!

 I was able to be apart of the killing of the sheep. In these pictures I am skinning it. The brave hands that are showing me what to do and holding the coat that I skinned and the meat tight so that I could skin, belong to Kuanysh. He is the son of the directors of the orphanage. He is super hilarious. He spoke quite a bit of English. Sometimes correctly...sometimes not. But he chose when.ha

Teaching some of the kids to play American spoons. Even thought we should have shown them Kazakh spoons.ha

This is on our way to the camp. Me (top left) Ali (top middle) Aaron (top right) Nate (bottom left) Max (bottom right) 

Jessica, Marina, Anya

Beautiful girls :)

This is the group that made it all the way up the mountain. This was the most challenging, not just physically, but mentally and a little emotionally...especially when you almost take a nasty spill down the mountain and thankfully caught by someone behind you (Thank you Sara!). 

It was totally worth it. It was truly amazing!

 Maxim and Myself

I feel like I grew closest to him. After Sara caught me and I had my little break down, he left the top to come and get me and Sara to help us the rest of the way. My shoes had no traction and I slipped too many times and after Max came down to help us, he caught me and held a grip on me making sure that I didn't fall anymore, all the way to the top. He was one of the main reasons I made it to the top. Him, Sara, Aaron, and Ella. Then on the way down, he and I and Jason worked together getting down. We held onto each other making sure that we wouldn't fall. He is so careful and so protective of me, which I was more than thankful for!

Losha and Olivia

Losha was hilarious. Even though he didn't speak much English, I feel like I understood him (most of the time.ha). Olivia, along with Jenny, were great roommates, and I am glad that they didn't kick me out after accidentally scaring the crap out of them the first night (I have a scar now, which is pretty sweet).

Ali and (Jedi) Kuanysh 

Ali I loved her random things that she would say when she was on the slappiest happiest kick. Like, "Kuanysh, you would make a great Jedi." hahahaha Kuanysh, he truly would make an excellent Jedi. Every time I think of the word Jedi, I think of him going to get our Coke and he made a spectacular role that only a Jedi would be able to do and be proud of it. He and Max always picked the best apples for us to eat (they were soo good!).

The beginning of the goodbyes and we still had one more half day together. After the kids started saying thank you to all of us and that they think of us as their American brothers and sister (of which I am honored!) and that they love us, I lost it. I started bawling and I couldn't stop until I had people come and comfort me, like Max, Kuanysh, Ella, Losha, Taylor, Oleg, Kaisar...and the list goes on and on. They are all truly amazing and caring kids, and I love them and miss them so very much!

They all give the best hugs.

After crying for a while, I decided that I needed to stop and enjoy the time that I had left with everyone. So we went outside and took pictures. It took a while, but there was a smile on my face that replaced those stupid tears. The people in the picture made sure of it. 

In order from top left to right: Jeff, Nate, Max, Aaron, Igor, Losha

Middle: Zach

Bottom left to right: Gabe (only in the second picture) Kuanysh, and Oleg

Ohh, the boys. They are special. And I love them. The first picture is supposed to be a tough guy face and the second is one of them smiling. I, for one, love both of them.

In order from top left to right: Annya

Middle: Anya, Marina, Jessica, Ali, Shaina (me), Olivia (blonde), Taylor (purple shirt), Ella (pink shirt)

Bottom: Jenny

These girls were such a blessing. They were sweet, quiet, and some of them even knew how to dance.

Kuanysh: "This is for Americans ONLY!"
Max: "SHUT UP"
Kuanysh: "Okay, okay, you can stay."
Me: "So can Losha."
Taylor: **Looks pretty sweet. She knows how to pose**

Need I say more?haha





I miss these kids soooo much!! I hate going to see them everyday for five days to not seeing them at all. Even though I was on the other side of the world, I felt like I was home, with my Kazakh brothers and sisters. And being away from them, I feel so homesick. Since I have been home, I left a big part of my heart over there with the kids. This past week has probably been the hardest for me. Every time I think of them, I just look at the notes that some of them wrote me and re-read them, look at my bracelets that a few made for me, and just revisit pictures. Sometimes I even get the privilege of talking to them on Facebook, which is always really nice! 

   The top pink note is from Zarina, another one of our great translators. She is incredibly sweet.
   The bottom pink note is from Annya, one of the caretakers of the kids. She is also incredibly sweet.
   The bottom blue note is from Kaisar, one of my Kazakh brothers. I talk to him some on Facebook, which I love it! He is so fun to talk to! :)
He would be one of the first to comfort me when I was sad. He is soo caring! He is a really good dancer. He was so fun to dance with. Him, Max, Kuanysh, Losha, even the DJ who knew me as Shakira.ha

   The first blue note is from Max, another one of my Kazakh brother. One that I grew really, truly close to. He wrote the note in Russian, so I had to wait and ask Talgot to read it and translate it for me when he had time. After he translated for me, I wrote the meaning in English on the next blue note card. He is another really caring, sweet person that I love dearly.
   The green note is from Oleg, another one of my brothers. He was so sweet, and also caring. I think caring is just a characteristic all of the kids had. Oh, and boy he can dance, too. They all got it on the dance floor. They were so much fun!
   The white, tinted pink note is another note from Zarina. She is so thoughtful and I am so thankful and blessed that not only she, but all the others decided to write me. The first few times I read these, I cried so hard. Now I just get a little teary eyed but they make me happy.

These are the bracelets that, Marina and Lena, beautiful girls that are funny and thoughtful (right hand), Max made the one on my left hand. It is with the bracelet that had a cool theme on it for the week spent together.








Looking and revisiting these things makes me a little less homesick because I feel like I am with them, until I realize that I am not. I never knew that I could love these kids as much as I do within the little time period I have had with them, but I could. I did. I do. They will forever have a place in my heart! And they will be forever missed until I see them again. Because I know that I have work that isn't finished yet. Until I see them, I will keep in contact with them. Talk with them on Facebook, email, and do my best to figure out how to Skype and Skype them.

So this is my condensed version of my trip to Kazakhstan. I hope you enjoyed it. If you want to ask me questions please do so. I would be more than happy to answer them!

Love Always & God Bless,
Shaina :))

Being Attacked

So lately, I feel like I have been being attacked. I have felt the devil take every opportunity to make me feel sick and just down right cruddy. Lately my little brother has been listening to this song by one of his favorite bands, Oh Sleeper. It is called 'Son of the Morning vs The Finisher'. You can click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkWvl1_zb_Q to go to it or listen to it here and click below.

***Fair warning this is a metal band that has screaming in it so if that isn't your type of music you might not want to click, but I hope you do chose to click and watch it.

H=God Ex. Him, He, His

h=devil Ex. him, he, his

(*This is a note for the ones that didn't want to listen to it, and that's all right, I won't put it against you. This song is pretty much a chat between the devil and God. It starts out with the devil saying how he thinks that he is more powerful than God. That God hasn't won anything. Damning Jesus because He took the devils 'light'. Stating that he will soon claim the thrown. Then God starts talking. How the devil just speaks in a whisper and how His speaking quiets the seas and when He breathes He can break the devil's neck. That God will calm the world, all that has been corrupted by the devil. God will take out the devil if he keeps the world from searching Him and take away his shade. He will put him in his place. God is the Finisher and He is Forever. The devil will fear the angels from heaven when they lift their wings. He will finish him when He cuts off his horns.)

My typing and interpretations for this song doesn't do it justice so please, if you are able to spare the time, please click on it. 

It was definitely a needed song to listen to. Because lately I feel like the devil has been attacking me. Using what I have gone through and geared it to work for him. For those of you that don't know I leave for a trip out of the country for a couple weeks on Monday with a youth delegation. There are three people that are sick but we hope and pray for them to be fully recuperated. This is how the devil works. By kicking his offense down while they are weakened because his defense isn't too, well let's just say good. he wants to make sure that we will get occupied in something else rather than do God's work. By the devil attacking me right now while I am off guard and kicking me while I am down I am afraid that I won't experience what the full experience that God intended for these next couple weeks. Re-listening to this song assures me that with the help of God, I won't distracted. That with the help of God, nothing can stand in my way. That with the help of God I am able to experience anything beyond what I can imagine.

And same goes for you. Don't let the devil kick you while you are down! If you let him get to you like that then you will never experience what God intended. Which is more wonderful than you can fathom.

I also listened to 'You Alone Can Rescue' by Passion, 'Stronger', and 'The One Who Save' by Hillsong recommended by one of my dear friends, which were other great reminders. (So if you didn't listen to the first song, or didn't like it, I highly recommend listening to if not one but all of these.

I hope you enjoyed this post, and thank you for reading. If you would, could you please remember me and my delegation over these next couple weeks and say a prayer for us as we go on God's journey? That would mean more to me than you know! :) 

Let me know what you think about what the post, so please comment. It would make my day. :)

Love Always and God Bless

Shaina :))

Words of Encouragement

en-cour-age
-verb

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/encourage's definition
1. to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence
2. to promote, advance, or foster

My definition
1. to comfort, uplift, help someone who feels crappy, feel better
2. something that everyone needs every once in a while

If you read between the lines, they are pretty much saying the same thing. They are meaning the same thing.

Words of encouragement. Pretty much the same thing. They are comforting words that help people realize that people care about them and let them know that they are not alone that everyone needs to hear every now and again. So here are some of my favorite quotes, bible verses and songs. I hope and pray that they are as useful to you as they were/are to me.

*************These range from life to relationships to patience to whatever else **************
Quotes


"Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there someday."
-Winnie the Pooh 
"Cute is when your personality shines through your looks. Like, when you see someone's personality in the war they walk and you just feel like hugging them every time you see them..."
-Natalie Portman
"Great works are performed not by strength but by perseverance."
-Samuel Johnson
"Not all who wander are lost."
-J.R.R. Tolkien
"To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift."
-Steve Prefontaine
"Jesus didn't just die for our sinfulness. Our sinfulness died with Him!"
-Anonymous
"You are special because there is no one like you. You were made in the image of God. So be the best you can be."
-Anonymous
"I'm not gonna tell you to not be afraid because everyone feels fear, but I will say have courage which in going forward in spite of that fear and carrying out obediently the tasks that are laid before you. God is with you."
-My brother in Christ Thomas Brown
"If you find your special someone you have to hold on tightly and never let go. Even through rough, emotional, and just times."
-Anonymous
"Four things you can't recover - a stone after the throw, a word after it is said, the occasion after it is missed, the time after it's gone."
-Jim Burns
"Keep patience and perseverance in this part of your life and the days to come! Call on Him and He WILL answer! Allow his presence to renew your spirit, mind, and heart. You WILL make it through this Shaina (insert your name here) and you are not alone. God will be there every step of the way!"
-Thommy Brown

Bible Verses **Please don't turn away from this part

"Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, life, in love, in faith and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalms 37.4
"If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." - Psalm 37:23-24
"For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones." - Psalm 37:28
"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy." - John 16:20
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-13

Songs


"Take Heart" by Hillsong United
"Oh You Bring" by Hillsong United
"Open My Eyes" by Hillsong
"Forever Reign" by Hillsong
"Stay Beautiful" by Taylor Swift
"The One Who Saves" by Hillsong
"Love Is Waiting" by Brooke Fraser
"Awake My Soul" by Mumford & Sons
"Naturally" by Matt Wertz
"Graces Amazing Hands" by Dave Barnes
"Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons (this just makes me feel better because I really like this band, and this song...except for the cussing in this one. please pardon it.)
"You Are Here" by Needtobreathe
"More Time" by Needtobreathe
"Something Beautiful' Needtobreathe
"The Greatness of Our God" by Hillsong
"You" by Hillsong

If you made it to the finish, good job and thank you. If some things made sense and others just made you question a little, it was something that I just saw and I liked so I thought that I would add it. I have been kinda stuck on this post for a couple weeks now...just getting distracted and it took some time looking for certain things. But I mostly got distracted.ha I hope you enjoyed and please leave a comment. Constructive criticism if you didn't like it.

Love Always and God Bless

100 Truths

So I don't normally do these things but I thought that I would just to change it up a bit. I hope that you learn a little about me through this...and if not, that might be a little concerning.. :)
So I hope that this wasn't too boring, and I hope that I am not too boring...ha

LAST:  

1. Last beverage:  Water

2. Last phone call: Ali

3. Last text message: Jenny

4. Last song you heard: Some Devil Wears Prada song

5. Last time you cried: Just the other day

 HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Got back with someone you've broken up with: Nope

7. Been cheated on? Nope

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: Nope

9. Lost someone special: Yes

10. Been depressed: Yes 

11. Been drunk and threw up: Nope

 LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Green

13. Red

14. Blue or yellow

 THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011)

15. Made a new friend: yes

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: If this counts watery eyes then yes

18. Met someone who changed you: Yes

19. Found out who your true friends were: I sure did, and who I can trust.

20. Found out someone was talking about you: I am not really sure

21. Kissed anyone?: Yes.

22. How many friends would you call best friends?: 3, they are pretty much sisters :) Katie, Anna, and Ali :)) <3

23. How many kids do you want: At the most 4

24. Do you have any pets: Not unless you count a little sister as a pet :)

25. Do you want to change your name:  No, I think I'll keep it

26. What did you do for your last birthday:  Threw a party

27. What time did you wake up?: 7:30 :(

28. What were you doing at midnight last night?: falling asleep watching soccer

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for?: Katie to come back from Europe!! :)) Or Kazakhstan!

30. Last time you saw your Mother?: Wednesday

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That I would be a little more assertive with some things...

32. Have you ever fired a gun?: Yep

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: Yes I have

34. Who is getting on your nerves now?: well...

35. Most visited website? facebook

36. What’s your real name: Shaina Joy Shroll

37. Nicknames: Shainabear, Shainapot, I don't really know of anyothers

38. Relationship Status:  talking to one pretty amazing guy. he is pretty wonderful. 

39. Zodiac sign: Gemini 

40. Male or female?: female

41. Primary School?: Burris

42. Secondary School?:  Burris

43. High school/college?:  Burris...college possible BSU

44. Hair color: Brown/red/blonde ( a bit of everything

45. Long or short: Long

46. Height: 5'1 1/4" (I grew a little!:) )

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: Crush? Yes..actually, it is much more than that.

48: What do you like about yourself?:  Personable?

49. Piercings: Yes

50: Tattoos: Nope

51. Righty or lefty: Righty

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery: Stitches

53. First piercing: Ears when I was four?

54. First best friend: Mackenzie, although sadly we aren't anymore

55. First sport you joined: Soccer!

56. First vacation: Kentucky to see family!

56. First love: Well there is this boy...but I am not entirely sure if it is love, I am figuring it out. We'll see...

58. First pair of trainers: trainers?

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating:  Nachos

60. Drinking: Water

61. I'm about to: Post this

62. Listening to: My uncle on the phone talking to my daddy

63. Waiting for: Peace from God

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?: Yes

65. Get married? Stupid Question... Which means Y.E.S!

66. Career: Physical Therapist 

PREFERENCES IN YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER

67. Lips or eyes: Yes

68. Hugs or kisses: I love his hugs (hugs in general) but I wouldn't mind a kiss

69. Shorter or taller: He is taller, not that hard to be..ha

70. Older or Younger: He is younger by 6 months

71. Romantic or spontaneous: Yes, Spontaneously romantic

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: Both? (I feel weird answering this question...ha) 

73. Sensitive or loud: I like a little bit of both

74. Hook-up or relationship:  Relationship, for sure

HAVE YOU EVER:

75. Been to Alaska: No I have not.

76. Kissed a stranger: No I have not.

77. Drank hard liquor: I have never drunken hard liquor.

78. Lost glasses/contacts: Yes, unfortunately

79. Sex on first date: Of course not!

80. Broken someone's heart: I don't think so.

81. Punched someone: Yes, but just playfully

82. Been arrested: Well, technically NO..ha I just have a picture of being in handcuffs. 

83. Turned someone down: I don't think so

84. Cried when someone died: Yes I have.

85. Fallen for a friend: Why yes. Yes, I have.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: sometimes

87. God: YES I most certainly DO!

88. Love at first sight: I guess it depends

89. Heaven: You bet I do!

90. Santa Claus: Well... In a word, no.

91. Kiss on the first date: Nope.

92. Angels: Yes.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: NEVER

95. Did you sing today?: Yes

96. Ever cheated on somebody?: I am glad to say I haven't

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: The last time I was with him. 

98. The moment you would choose to relive?: Any moment with him, or at the bunk house with his wonderful and amazing sisters! :)

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: Yes and no. Yes because I am only 18 and I am not exactly sure what love means, no because I know it is a beautiful thing. 

100. Are you afraid of taking a risk? For the most part no, if it deals with relationships then yes, a little.

So I hope that this wasn't too boring, and I hope that I am not too boring...ha

Already Procrastinating

Just a fair warning...I like to ramble on and on and on and on about things sometimes and so if this gets boring...I am truly sorry. I am still trying to get the hang of this.ha

So, the whole reason I started this blog was to give me something to do over the summer. For me to blog whatever, whenever, but I have been too busy earlier this week.
The night that I made this blog I hung out with one of my best friends, Ali, authour of http://tryingtofindfaithpurplerainand.blogspot.com/. I picked her up, bought junk food, and rented "A-Team", because the first time that I went to see it I fell asleep through half of it because I was tired from lack of sleep the week before. It was pretty much a blast. The next day we woke up relatively early, about 930 or 10, and we went to Goodwill. I just want to say, Goodwill is a blast if you go with the right people.
I did nothing the next night. I just stayed at home and relaxed.
The next day, after church, I had over my other best friends, Anna and Katie the author of http://beautylikeakaleidoscope.blogspot.com/. They are both truly lovely. After church, we went out to eat with my daddy, little sister, and my older brother (my little brother went to a friends house and my mom had to go to work) and one of our dear friends and his dad. Then after that we too went to Goodwill. Like I said before, Goodwill is a blast when you go with the right people. We decided to go to Minnetrista after we got home because well we are teenage girls and we love to take pictures and love to have fun (it's a good thing that taking pictures and having fun can go hand in hand). We took pictures, walked around, picked up a homeless balloon but then let it go after we knew that there was a whole in it, crawled under a fence. (Better written from Katie along with beautiful photography, http://beautylikeakaleidoscope.blogspot.com/2011/06/smiling-so-hard-it-hurts.html) After our loaded day out, we ended up going home eating dinner then going to my room to read, yes you read right...we read (and I finished Matched which is a great book, regardless of how much I am not that big of a fan with the characters).
The following morning we get up, get ready, I made us some cappuccinos, and waited for a really extremely handsome, sweet boy (who happens to be Katie and Anna's brother). He joined us on our way to Indy to shop around in the mall while my mother had her surgery. Even though I ended up having my stomach hurt for the last half of the time, I had a blast. Being with them always makes me feel better.
The only other thing this week that I feel like is worth writing for was my birthday party (which let me tell you, my last birthday party was like 5 or 6 years ago) and it was a blast. My best of friends came, we ate played volleyball (not well might I add), played a bit of soccer, and last of all played sardines. The last round, I was hiding with Joseph, my best friends brother and Trent one of our friends, and we had a killer hiding spot. No one found us...well until I shouted "You guys suck" and then Joseph covered my mouth...then we all started laughing. It still took them a while though.ha My friends are great.
I could write more about what happened throughout my week but 1) You probably don't care and 2) for this being my second post...It is probably too much.ha

If you made it this far...thank you so much for putting up with my rambling! You are truly wonderful!
Have a lovely week,
-Shaina :))

Trial Run. Intro.

Sooo, I'm not gonna lie, this is a bit scary. I have never really written before for other people to see. Maybe if I am lucky, maybe no one will notice and I can just write. (I am chuckling a bit right now.)
This blog is inspired by my two of my BEST friends to start blogging. They are absolutely wonderful and their writings are so superb. So compared to them I am a five year old trying to learn how to swim and they are the professional swimmers.
I am actually a lot nervous because, well, as I stated before, I have never really written anything for people to see, other then my family members and maybe some friends? I feel like a lot of my writing is just a huge long thought, and then maybe some commas and periods thrown at it to make it looks some what uniform. I feel like a lot of my work may be some what pointless, but I have come to accept that it's okay. I mean a lot of what I say is pointless but I say it anyways, so I thought why not (and the chuckling continues).
Other than my friends inspiration, the reason for the start of this blog is to give me something over the summer because I would like to have something other than Facebook and TV to be my only things to turn to over the summer when I have nothing to do. I also thought that it might help me improve my writing. Hopefully it does. I mean, it can only go uphill from here, right? Another reason is that I have relatively good, thoughts, things that could make someone question and ponder for a bit, sometimes (shocker right?) and I tend to forget them (another shocker? I think not.) and I thought that this could help me remember them. Like, if I think of something to write about, I can post about it and then even if I do forget it at the moment, I can pull it up later.

Sooo, that is enough for one sitting, at least for now anyways. Wish me Luck.